What’s on your therapist bookshelf at the moment?
There are always several books on my therapist bookshelf, but one that is resonating with me right now is The Family Crucible: The Intense Experience of Family Therapy by Carl Whittaker MD and Augustine Napier PhD. It’s a popular introductory book to Family Therapy. A big takeaway for me is how we need to look more broadly at mental health through the context of the systems we live in, that being our family of origin, our intergenerational histories, our culture, our society, gender, etc., as it shapes so much of who we are. We need to look at our underlying patterns and transactions in relationships, dynamics of power and control, unspoken assumptions, social scripts, and importantly the emotions that lie underneath the surface of our lives. I enjoy reading ‘therapist’ books that are accessible and speak powerful truths in simple language, and this is one of them.
What inspired you to become a therapist, and how do your personal experiences shape your approach to counselling?
It is common to hear this from therapists, but I came to this work because I have struggled with my mental health. I’m grateful to have had therapists, mentors, and trusted others who gave me the gift of their presence, compassion, and allowed me to honour my story. Above all, they showed me what it means to fully listen and be listened to.
While it’s important not to let our personal histories colour our experience with clients, in having our own relationships with pain, suffering, and hurt, as well as knowing growth and change, we are invited to be in service to others through this profession. We are powerless over our histories and its continuing impact on us. However, we have control over how we show up for ourselves and others in the present. It is our responsibility to honour the historical wisdom of our adaptations to pain, but at the same time to be curious and gently confronting these parts of self with loving-kindness.
Can you share a bit about your therapeutic philosophy and the theoretical approaches you integrate into your practice?
I describe myself as a trauma-informed and integrative clinician. Therapeutic modalities that inform my work include Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, Internal Family Systems, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, along with psychodynamic work, and working from an attachment-based lens. Generally speaking, these modalities try to appreciate and understand how we bring our histories with us, and healing comes from bringing awareness to our maladaptive habits, and compassionately challenging these outdated ways of being. Clinicians and authors that have influenced me include Terrence Real, Janina Fisher, Judith Herman, Pat Ogden, Jon Kabat-Zinn, and bell hooks, among others.
The pillars of good therapeutic work include trust, respect, spontaneity, humour, collaboration, and genuineness. I invite clients to bring their full humanity to sessions, honouring their stories, not to minimize the impact of their histories, and inviting them to move toward their therapeutic goals.
If you were not a therapist, what profession do you envision yourself being in?
Since I was younger, I wanted to be involved in music. When I was a teenager, I played the bass guitar in a band, with the pipe dream of being a famous musician (and then I went to therapy and realized why I felt that way!). Now, I make music for fun, and having a creative outlet is an important part of my life. If I wasn’t working as a therapist, I could see myself somewhere else in a career helping others.
How do you handle situations where a client is resistant to change or feels stuck?
Part of the work of growth and change is leaning into resistance and stuckness. In these moments, therapists are called to be creative, spontaneous, and rely upon our expertise and trust our clinical intuition. Generally, therapists are usually comfortable working with ambivalence, confusion, and the complexity that underlies resistance. Our responsibility is to explore and notice the resistance, explore its meaning, and pace these moments appropriately with the client. To be empathetic means to be present with our clients, to track clients’ moment-to-moment emotional experience, and to listen to what is said as much as what is not being said.
In your experience, what are some common misconceptions about therapy, and how do you work to address and overcome them in your practice?
In beginning therapy, clients are curious about what change might look like for them based on their presenting concerns. As therapists, we have a broad definition of what change and growth looks like for our clients. However, everyone arrives with a unique story, a unique set of strengths, difficulties,, and stuck points. That being said, there can be the misconception that there is a one-size-fits-all solution for complex problems in our life. So, while at the beginning of therapy, it may seem that we are asking more questions rather than giving advice or guidance, a big skill of our job is to listen well, and ask good questions, to comprehensively understand a problem before we jump to a potential solution. Human beings are unique, and so the solutions to our problems need to respond to the uniqueness of the human condition.
What’s your favourite self-care activity?
In my spare time, I love to read books, watch movies, try new things (painting recently!), and making music. My favourite self-care activity after sessions is spending time with loved ones, having fun, and to be able to take off the ‘therapist hat.’
What do you find most rewarding about being a therapist?
Therapy is a unique career that is fulfilling, challenging, and always encourages us to continually grow and change. Most of all, being witness to clients’ growth and change is the most rewarding part of our career. For instance, when clients offer themselves compassion where they couldn’t before, try something new and succeed, build confidence in themselves, or make contact parts of themselves they have lost,, it gives me hope. It takes a real courage to face what feels overwhelming and vulnerable, but I believe this can offer the reward of a richer and meaningful life for ourselves and the loved ones that surround us.
What would you say to someone who has never been in therapy before and may be considering taking that first step and reaching out?
It is normal to try several consults with different therapists before jumping into sessions with one clinician. There is a lot of information online about different theoretical models and therapy modalities, so it may be best to have consults with therapists from a range of therapeutic models. When speaking with clinicians, trust your intuition, and if you feel there is a good flow of conversation, you get along well, that is a great sign to book a first session.
You can learn more about Adrian and the rest of our team here:
We offer counselling for men and their partners to those living across Canada. We also offer a free 20-minute consultation to assess for a good fit.
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